I have a dream

Uncle Bernie would say "Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get."
Long ago I had a beautiful dream…..
Most of us want to make it big in life. We want to be famous and successful. We have the passion and drive but perhaps not the means to do so. Growing up in a third world country, we are overwhelmed by the poverty and squalor around us. We compete to excel academically because we have to traverse the well trodden path and become a doctor, engineer, chartered accountant, business or an IT professional. After all, these professions guarantee that we fulfill our roles as bread-winners of our family. We do not want to be part of poverty and so we aim for mediocrity. Soon our dreams are forgotten and we aspire for salary packages, bonuses and job security. The daily grind crushes any passions of our mind. Our thoughts cannot cross the threshold of “security”, our imagination is stifled and we dare not dream. We are grown ups now!! How can we waste our precious (and limited) time in such trivia? Our time is better utilized thinking about the returns on investments, latest value of stocks and other such “important” matters that comprise our daily life. Remember we have achieved our aim to beat poverty. Our lives are comfortable and who wants to get out of the comfort zone? We have reshaped our dreams and are in control of our destiny. We have perhaps redefined making it “big”. We have indeed made it big in our comfortable little world. After all, any reasonable person would adapt to the world. Uncle Bernie would say "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
We worship achievers, devour every sentence pandered by print media on our favorite celebrity, ogle at their pictures on newsstands. Do we ever pause to think that these are ordinary people who dared to pursue their dreams? Let’s travel down memory lane, navigate through the cobweb of life already lived and revive those precious “silly” dreams. Let’s chase those “silly” dreams, let’s live life again.

Project MARRIAGE

Here is our protagonist. Let’s call him Mr. Rocker. You know why he is the Rocker? Sometimes he rocks like a rock star, sometimes his resolve is as solid as a rock and sometimes he is a rocker, oscillating like a pendulum. Well, our Rocker is in a situation. He is running a deadline. Not the usual boring ones at work. This is a very interesting project. Let’s call it Project MARRIAGE. Like all other projects this one requires use (or maybe overuse) of our analytical skills. Why not? Human beings are endowed with this intricate organ called brains which ought to be used at every occasion. So let’s pick Rocker’s brains and see what’s going on there.

“And they lived happily ever after…” Right out of some fantasy!! Does this mean your quest ends here? You found what you wanted for the rest of your life!!! There is no need to explore, search or experience any more. You have found the one. But is this not contrary to what our minds are conditioned for? Our minds are in this constant state of exploration. The search is always on for something, maybe truth, happiness, companionship, peace, justice, love and even hate and conflict. Shared happiness and shared sorrow is a myth. Every wonderful miracle, including birth and death is experienced by the individual self. Our lives are too personal to be shared. We can only share tangible things like beds, wardrobes, food and cars. Can we share our souls? Rocker’s favorite, George Bernard Shaw would put it “A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth”.

So Rocker concludes, marriage is a social institution to be upheld. After all we live in a society where much premium is placed on “sharing and caring”. We have to play our part. Shakespeare rightly said “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players”. Also, we are in this free “market” where we can choose our “life partners”. We would buy the best possible dress for ourselves, the best possible models for our cars, the best possible house in the neighborhood, so why not the best possible spouse? Just like buying the best car or house requires some calculation and analysis, so does getting the best spouse!! Of course after a year our car or house is not the best anymore. Mr. B, the neighbor has a bigger and better model. How aptly they coined “Neighbor’s envy. Owner’s pride”. Cars malfunction after a while and so does marriage. Unlike other material examples above, human beings cannot be possessed or owned. That is why marriage as an institution is not a roaring success. Once again Rocker remembers Uncle Bernie. Shaw rightly said “Marriage is nothing but legal prostitution”. Marriage is nothing more than a social structure to bring in some pseudo discipline in our anarchic psyche. But we are free spirits and we will remain that way whether project MARRIAGE succeeds or not.